It has come to my attention that some people don’t like to eat cake because they’ll get fat. A more principled journalist might use that sentence as the lead-in for a tirade on the dangers posed by unrealistic standards of beauty imposed by society, but I am neither principled, nor technically a journalist. So I’m instead going to focus on the cake.
It’s a cake. What were you expecting to see?
There were, and indeed are, cakes being sold in the cafeteria today (unless you’re not reading this today, in which case, there probaly aren’t) in aid of alleviating the terrible hardships that exist in the Gambia. I am reliably informed by the world map on the wall that this is in Africa. As you may know, Africa has been stricken terribly by the curse of ebola, and just because I’m choosing not to make jokes about that doesn’t mean I can’t think them up and laugh privately. My thoughts are my own until I put them down on paper and the Orwellian forces of social justice can’t do a thing about it.
More cake, since I don’t think you want to see pictures of ebola. I mean, it’s not nice.
The cakes themselves, though, were very nice. There were chocolatey ones, and non-chocolatey ones, and fruity ones, and fairy ones, and they all sat together on the tray in perfect harmony. Society could learn a hell of a lot. Just saying. So go buy some, and it’ll save the world. Unless they’re all gone, in which case don’t bother, you’ll just make a fool of yourself. Never make a fool of yourself, especially not online. You’ll never hear the end of it.
Next week I will be on holiday. Amuse yourselves in the meantime.