I have been here for five weeks and I no longer think.

I have found everything here to be terrible, except for the things that aren’t. The fact that there are actually fewer terrible things than non-terrible things is entirely irrelevant. However, it is the irrelevancy of that clarification that makes it relevant.

The more astute amongst you may realise that I am in fact referring to the college’s breakfasting facilities, which I sampled today for the first time. Three pounds and twenty-five new pence left my pocket and a motley selection of fried items entered my digestion. Allow me to elucidate in a southerly direction:


This is not the precise breakfast I received, but the newspaper can’t spare a photographer to follow me around so you’ll have to use your imaginations a little bit. Oh wait, they’ve been irreparably dulled by Instagram and Angry Birds. Whatever those are.

Bacon, sausage, fried egg, mushrooms and a choice of hash browns or fried slice. That’s what you get. Oh, and tea. Or bean-based tea substitute if that’s what you’re into. There’s no accounting for taste. Or lack of it.

Overall, I was fairly impressed with what was dished up, well worth the price of admission and it set me up a treat for the arduous morning of hanging around doing nothing that followed. And they say education is wasted on the young. Ho ho. How right they aren’t.


Also not my breakfast, but it’s nice to look at and that’s the important thing.

(If any of the cafeteria staff are reading this, give us a free breakfast every now and then and my weekly essay will be filled with naught but praise for your efforts.)

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