The Poem of Random Things


Do sheep get heavier when it rains?

Do they turn into a raincloud?

Could I use one as a sponge?

Or would I not be allowed?

The Portuguese word for custard

Apparently, is “custardo”

Although the person who told me this is English

And I’m not sure how he would know

I hate it when chavs are loud on the bus

I just really don’t see the need

I can’t tell whether they have hearing problems

Or whether they’ve smoked too much weed

Are our minds being filled up

With rudeness and profanity

It certainly seems that way

From all the sex and violence on TV

Someone threw a Milky Way at me once

(The chocolate bar, not the galaxy)

It hit me right in the eye

And for a while I couldn’t see

How has Leonardo Di Caprio not won an Oscar?

It really is a farce

I’d like to meet with the Oscar judges

And kick them up the… bottom

One of my acquaintances

Is really rather posh

He’ll be drinking Chardonnay

While I’ve got orange squash

This poem was random, wasn’t it?

That’s something even I’ll admit

Maybe it would have made more sense

If I wasn’t such a twit

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