Isn’t it lovely?
Two people expressing their eternal love for each other in front of their family and friends, everyone dresses up and it’s the happiest day of their lives, then they have a massive party with the attendees and later go on a holiday of a lifetime with just them, where they can finally be alone in the first time in a while with their new spouse and finally live the rest of their lives in pure bliss with the love of their life by their sides to support and cherish them.
Well that sounds very splendid indeed, and if all marriage was like that then I would not be writing this article, but unfortunately it’s not.
Recently I have watched a lot of wedding based programmes thanks to a combination of my sister and having nothing else to do. Don’t Tell the Bride, Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, Four Weddings and Bridezillas to name a few. Despite a few mishaps and tears, mostly the people in these programmes have a happy ending and it’s hugs, kisses and smiles all round. But we never see the “What happened later” when they begin to realise that they made a mistake, or when one of the partners cheats etc…
Now I am not trying to say that all marriage ends in disaster and I know that many people are very happy with their spouse, but it does seem that divorce is a major issue with 42% of UK marriages ending in one. And although marriage counseling and advice is becoming more common, the easiest way to avoid divorce is to not get married in the first place. A break-up in any relationship is bound to be emotional, but when there is money, mortgages/house ownership, family and legal ties together it only makes the situation more complicated.
But there are still 58 percent of marriages that don’t end in divorce, so why do I think it’s a bad thing?
Well as I said earlier, I watched a lot of wedding programmes, and It seems that most people are willing to spend thousands on their perfect wedding. A golden cake may sound good at the time, but a year later when you are in debt, arguing with your partner and have just been made redundant, it may seem a little pointless.
If you want to tell someone you love them and want to be with them forever it’s as simple as going up to them and telling them from the bottom of your heart “I love you, and want to be with you forever.” It is far cheaper, and if later it turns out you don’t want to be with them forever then you haven’t wasted thousands of pounds.
So what if you want to have a simple wedding, just two witnesses, and only the money spent on the documents? Doesn’t that sound quaint? No excessive cost, no annoying family and a flashback to a more simple time. But then if it does end, you still have all the normal problems, there are no preen ups, and all of the legal issues.
I think It is much simpler to not get married and be happy with each other without any monetary or life breaking commitment looming over you.
Unfortunately Marriage is still very much in our culture, when people are in long term relationships they are questioned as to when they will “pop the question.” And in a more and more secular society, it is still a religious ceremony and tradition that is undertaken. So although I want it to be more common that people can “live in sin” and not have to make a massive show of affection, I accept that it will take a long time to change the seeds that have been sown for so long.